How will losing all family support effect a drug addict?
September 16, 2009 by Addiction and Substance Abuse Tips
Filed under More Addiction Answers
Can you answer Dennis’s question about Addiction?:
I know you need to cut druggies off unless they get help but what happens if you also treat them like you hate them?
I know you need to cut druggies off unless they get help but what happens if you also treat them like you hate them?
My brother is on Meth and he did a lot of horrible things to our family over the years. When our Mom passed away I finally retaliated and did a lot of horrible things to him. To be honest though it didn’t make me feel any better.
I am wondering what losing all family support will do to a drug addict?
Inpatient Substance Abuse Treatment
Addiction Feedback: thats hard. i have never been in that situation. But family support is very strong and if my sister was doing drugs i would do everything i could to help her quit and see what she is doing to her life and how she is effecting everyone else. but you also have to understand what there going through too. Good Luck
Addiction Feedback: well, i know my ex had a problem with different drugs but drinking was the major one. his family cut him off and it seemed it got worse. he tried to commit suicide 3 different times, once by OD, once by hanging and another time by OD on flexril (sp?) i found out towards the end of our relationship that it was a cry for help and all he wanted was his family to tell him that they loved him and was there for him.
Addiction Feedback: The drug addict only cares about one thing…getting high. Loss of family support will likely result in more drastic means to obtain resources, but continuing support is enabling the addiction. Contact the Intervention show on A&E to see if they can help. Otherwise, seek professional assistance (use public resources in your area) for some advice on how to deal with the situation. Unfortunately, so many people must completely cut off their relationships with addicted family / friends to maintain their own decent quality of life.
Addiction Feedback: I honestly think cutting off all support from a person with a serious problem will only make things worse. Losing someone you love isn’t easy and no matter what your brother did - he’s still your brother, and he’s still your family. Giving up isn’t the answer, and he’s probably wishing someone would help him but is too prideful to ask.
Addiction Feedback: Unfortunately, it probably will not effect him at all. Especially if your Mom is gone. It’s sad but there isnt much you can do. They have to realize that its getting their life nowhere and become willing to make clean up and do the right things. I know this sounds cheesy but go to some NA meetings but not the ones as an addicts, but the meetings for family members of drug addicts. You will meet people in the same boat as you and they should be able to provide some good advice since they have been going through the same scenarios as you. Just hope he hits rock bottom soon and wants to get sober and clear his head of that junk. Good luck.
Addiction Feedback: There’s a difference between not tolerating someone’s abuse and being hateful toward them. You didn’t feel any better because when you go against your brother, you go against yourself as well. You can disapprove of your brother’s bad behaviour and still love him. He has an addiction and I wouldn’t wish it on my worse enemy. You can support him by getting professional advice on how to handle the situation and following it. You can be tough, but loving at the same time. It’s a really painful thing to go through and I’m kinda going through something similar with a cousin I was close to. So far, she just refuses to meet me halfway and I had to break off ties until she makes at least some effort.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Addiction Feedback: “I am wondering what losing all family support will do to a drug addict?”
alienate them. push them away from the one group that actually cares if they live or die.
you don’t want to cut off a druggie totally, just financially.
it’s gonna be hard, they will probably try to steal from you, call you all kinds of names, etc. look past all this, it’s not him acting out, its the drugs.
the best thing you can do is keep loving him, not hate him. hating him will justify what he really thinks about himself…he’s a useless waste of space that no one cares about.
spend time with him, take him out to eat, take him to a basketball game…take him places to help get his mind off of getting bent. be his brother, for now ignore the fact that he’s an addict. concentrate on rebuilding your relationship. he’s still your brother inside. once you begin to trust one another again, start working on cleaning him up. start attending NA meetings, and show up at his place and offer to take him along…eventually he’ll go with you, if only to shut you up.
the road to recovery is steep, rocky, and difficult. without support no druggie will ever have the initiative to start the climb…but don’t preach getting clean, just plant the seed. he isn’t going to quit until he wants to quit. just show him how important he is to you and the family, no matter what he does.
Addiction Feedback: Losing all family support will perhaps make him hit a rock bottom. Although I think it’s very important for you to explain why you are cutting all ties with him. I am sure he knows but you need to let him, this is important because if you don’t his mind will do the talking for him for you. I had a very close relative on this drug, I know they do things that are very hurtful have in mind that they can’t really process the idea of the pain they cause us. I am not justifying, be hard on him but let him know that you are there when he is ready to get help. Now I urge you to say your sorry for retaliating in a hurtful way, explain why you did so even if you think it will not work. Do it for your peace of mind.
Addiction Feedback: This happened to my boyfriend, but he was addicted to cocaine and I didn’t know him personal when he was doing drugs.
But he told him how torn his family was. His dad started to drink A LOT and his Mom was very depressed and angry. I think that when you lose a family member of your immediate family this way, there is always a hole.
My boyfriend was sent away a lot and his father used to hit him, until he got big enough to hit him back. And mix that with his father’s drinking and him on coke, that just added to the hate they had, so they kept sending him away and treating him like a dog. He couldnt eat at the same table as his family let alone have a room, he slept on the couch.
He was sent to boarding school which he ran away from, and was kicked out of rehab twice. He didn’t care any more, because he had no one to come home to.
I met him a week before he went to jail, and stayed with him through out (it was only two months as he broke probation leaving the boarding school).
I did no leave him because he went to jail. I wrote at least one letter every day, visited the maximum of 3times a week and used the little money I had to pay for the phone so we can talk daily. While in jail he attempted to get into their rehab program (but he was released before they could move him) and he worked out everyday, as well as wrote me letters everyday.
It wasn’t easy but we made it through. He now works with his dad doing construction and he has a very good relationship with his family. He’s practically best friends with his Dad now and get’s along great with his Mom.
Like I said I wasnt with him when he was acting out like this, but I see where he is now, and I couldnt be more proud. He’s a great man and I hate to think what would have happened if he was left with no one.
An addict needs support. From family, a stranger, a friend or anybody. His parents stopped supporting him, but when I met him that’s all I did, and he’s great now.
You may have to be harsh with your brother to keep him away from the drugs. I’ve never been into drugs so I dont know the effects that has on your mind and body, but I’m sure its not easy. Just be there for him. Give him hope, and keep him away from getting those drugs however you can. If you have to lock him in a room then fine. Lock yourselves in a room together and watch Football or play video games like guys do. Drink a beer and talk about boobs and stuff. I dont know.
If you be his brother, I’m sure he’ll want to be yours back.
Best of Luck to your family.
Addiction Feedback: if you support a drug addict and they continue to use, then you are not helping them. you need to let them know that you care about them (if you do) but also let them know that there is nothing you can do for them until they start doing things to help themselves.
a drug addict really needs to hit rock bottom before they realise how bad of a situation they are in and only then will they see that it is decision time..
they can choose either to sink or swim
once they lose everything and everyone that means anything to them they will hit rock bottom and from then on in the only way can be stick at rock bottom or make it back up to recovery.
I think that if you really didn’t care you wouldn’t be asking this question.
maybe you should meet up with your brother and lay your cards down on the table - see if you can start again..
good luck
Addiction Feedback: First very important -TALK ABOUT FEELINGS not what you think or what he does. People have positive reactions to feelings.
Second - Don’t treat him like you Hate Him. Tell him up front that you Love Him but he hurts you being around him as long as he is using. Make sure he knows you Love him and you will Help Him when he decides to help himself. It has to be done with Love or he will use this as another excuse to use. TALK ABOUT FEELINGS The best thing it will do is make him look at how he is hurting his family/you and realize he needs professional help. The important thing is the family/you will not be enabling him.
The important factor for the family/you is you will not be in the middle of his drama, because addicts thrive on drama.
The best thing you can do for you is join a support group like Al Anon or a group like it. That way you will be able to talk to people who are going through the same thing you are and will help you not to fall for any of his stuff.
Addiction Feedback: It will go either way. He’ll get worse or he’ll get better. When my family stopped talking to me, I got better. But plenty of the people I hung out with went for the worst when their family abandoned them. Good luck.